Romantic relationships are one of the most important forms of relationships in a person’s life, and many times one of the most challenging. Throughout the evolvement of the relationship, different obstacles are encountered, as no relationship is conflict-free. There are times, however, when the dynamic between a pair causes so much interpersonal and personal pain, and the regular coping mechanisms do not seem to work anymore. It is in these cases that couples therapy can be of much help.
I believe that in couples therapy, the “patient” is the relationship. This relationship is an entity that combines the inner-world of each of its members as well as the unique dynamic that is evoked and constructed when those two inner-worlds meet. In the sessions, we will explore the different contributions of each member, some known and some unconscious, to the relationship entity. It is this awareness that promotes change.
The exploration can cross many levels, moving from behaviours and routines that promote conflict, to more unspoken and delicate wishes (and disappointments) that cannot be easily communicated. The process may, at times, be quite difficult, as couples share their intimate lives with the therapist and reveal hidden sides of themselves to each other. It is my role to enable a safe and containing environment, so that both partners can feel secure. Occasionally, there is also a need for individual sessions with each partner, to complement couples’ sessions.